


Five Times Shepard Has A Nightmare And The One Time He Doesn't

by joufancyhuh



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Poly Relationships, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-17 16:25:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13662789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joufancyhuh/pseuds/joufancyhuh
Summary: Shepard wakes in a sweat, a typical Friday night spent twisting in his sheets. His CO says he can’t return until he passes his psych eval, and with the increasing frequency of his nightmares, he knows he’ll fail.





	Five Times Shepard Has A Nightmare And The One Time He Doesn't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BardofHeartDive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/gifts).



> I tried to set this in the universe Bard has created for MShenga. This is my first time writing it, but if I was ever going to try it out, it'd be for you, Bard.

Shepard wakes in a sweat, a typical Friday night spent twisting in his sheets. His CO says he can’t return until he passes his psych eval, and with the increasing frequency of his nightmares, he knows he’ll fail.

Anxiety was never something he worried about before. His parents raised him with confidence, self esteem. But as his new CO says, no one would make it through what he did without a few brain scars. Brain scars that seep into his dreams, shifting them into nightmares that only end when he jolts awake, screaming.

Akuze happens every night, a twisted retelling of the burn scar that mars half his face. The guttural cries of his company as the acid dissolves them from solid masses to something liquid and bubbling.

He’ll try to stay awake, but sleep eventually wins out. And when it does, Akuze awaits.

* * *

The first night Kaidan stays in Shepard’s cabin, it does nothing to abate the terror that follows in Shepard's slumber. Kaidan awaits, wakened by the tossing of Shepard’s body as he fights to escape the thresher maw in his sleep. Hands stroke his back as Kaidan pulls John to his chest, whispering repetition that it’s okay, that John is fine, he’s alive, it’s just a nightmare.

Kaidan kisses away the edginess but not the fright. But Kaidan stays up with him until John falls back asleep. Shepard knows he should feel embarrassed, but all he can bring himself to feel is relief for another presence to help ward off the night with him.

* * *

Akuze switches to Alchera, Shepard’s nights spent recounting each gasp for breath, the burning of his lungs full of atmosphere and lacking in oxygen. That feeling doesn’t go away and all Shepard can do is grip the sheets in horror until reality fades back into existence around him.

He misses Kaidan the most in these moments. But battling his night terrors alone comes as nothing new.

* * *

James doesn’t know how to deal with the nightmares, not that Shepard can blame him. He’s a rookie, never saw much action, and what he did see, James barely knows how to stay afloat in his own mind. Shepard helps where he can, in the way Kaidan used to, an arm on his shoulder, kisses that cover every inch of his face. But Shepard knows first hand that this only grounds James, that sleep and panic will once again reclaim him.

Shepard still has his own demons to battle out in the nighttime.

Instead, they alternate bringing the other coffee, fighting off the lure of rest with caffeine, desperate to ward off the bad.

It isn’t perfect, but knowing he isn’t alone in this fight, that is simply enough.

* * *

In the hospital, Shepard doesn’t get the luxury of anyone but a nurse, checking his vitals to make sure the spike in blood pressure is only from his nightmares. With James and Kaidan missing and the private room the hospital gifted him, loneliness eats away at Shepard in his awakened state and condemns him in his dreams.

He misses late night cups of coffee with James, the gentle tide of Kaidan’s kisses for reassurance. In the dark of his room, the red lights of his medical equipment resemble Reapers.

* * *

Shepard takes his place in the middle of the bed, swallowed by the many pillows James insists keeping on the mattress. The dogs pile on top of the blankets, leaving little space to move. Shepard prefers it this way, the warmth of a home surrounding him as he drifts into sleep.

Both Kaidan and James hold onto Shepard throughout the night, anchors against the waves of Shepard’s PTSD.

No nightmares follow in the close of his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, you should read [The Last One by Bard](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12268155/chapters/27881841)


End file.
